Blue Balls & Broken Hearts

In Editorials

You’re past the breaking point. That is, you’ve finished the excruciatingly long argumentative portion of your break-up. You’re done with the crying, whining and wallowing in self-pity (occasional breakdown not included) and you’re ready to move on.

You take your friends’ advice, and believe them when they say there are plenty of fish in the sea. They tell you the best way to get over the last is with the next.

It’s been a while since you’ve played the game, so you’re a bit on the rusty side, but you figure it must be like riding a bike; if you’ve dated before, you’ll be able to date again, no problem. A year without practice is not that long…

But instead of gracefully floating back into the scene, you dive in head first not realizing the potential damage you can cause to your already frail heart.

Instead of trying to get over the last by dating the next, you try to replace the last with the next, expecting nightly phone calls and exclusive attention at all times. Immediately realizing your obvious state of vulnerability, you try and counter balance this by dating several fish all at once.

If this doesn’t sound like reality TV yet, you then show up to a party with one date, while No. 2 is there and incredibly excited to see you. Meanwhile, another potential fish is giving you the “let’s go make out upstairs” look from across the room. You took risks when you weren’t ready for a fall and couldn’t keep up with the micro management … the last break is still too fresh.

So how do you know when you’re ready? How do you know that you won’t freak out if they try to kiss you? How do you move past the denial, that maybe you’re not ready to get back out there and hit the dating ropes?

Of course the single life is an explorative route to take. A date with VH1’s “Celebrity Breakups” could be the best remedy at this point. Is there some sort of limitation on the amount of time we spend after a break up, especially when we’re on the receiving end of it all? Here at the Daily Titan, we’ve been there.

In fact, we’ve been wound up right back here with nothing but our private collection of “Sex and the City” seasons 1-6 to keep us distracted.

But you’re done with the self-pity, anger, regret, hate (of both yourself and the ex), and you want to suppress these feelings because hey, you’ve never really been the type to expose your emotions and are getting sick of moping around in your underwear and bathrobe.

There’s an in-between phase that a lot of us tend to skip. Give yourself enough time. Getting back into the game too quickly, you may try and shoulder your frustration onto someone else, thus never really dealing with it.

Moving on is not always dating again. You fear getting into the on-again off-again phase. It makes sense to hide defensively behind a new fling, or several for that matter, for the sheer purpose of having a justifiable shield from the ex. But it’s better to rely on your friends for this. “Friends” and VH1.

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