Notes on Dating From Coachella

In Opinion

I spent this past weekend in Coachella Valley at the annual Coachella Music and Arts Festival, and while I had intended on spending my time enjoying the music and art I couldn’t help finding this week’s topic: dating advice for outdoor festivals.

You see a festival, not to be confused with a concert where you actually have a seat, is an all day and sometimes all night event, where you have the opportunity to check out numerous bands on multiple stages and at the same time walk around checking out vendor tents, demonstrations and meeting some of your favorite artists. As such a festival offers you the chance to actually talk to your date and can offer you several chances to annoy your fellow attendees.

First and foremost, if you’re going to make out during a show do the world a favor and get out of the crowd. No one wants to see you and your significant other sucking face in public when Franz Ferdinand is on stage.

Move to the back behind the people who actually came to see the band and find a nice blanket to make out on.

Second, wait till you leave. Why is it it always seem to find a couple who’s decided to have sex at a concert? From the Port-a-Potties to behind a tent, people seem to think that nightfall is a good enough cover to take part in a few carnal activities. But really your odds of being caught are just as good at night as during the day so how about waiting till you get out of the show. I hear the back seat of a car is still an acceptable location.

Third, please no talking when the music is playing.

A friend of mine was recently at the Coldplay concert when a couple behind her wouldn’t stop talking. “The chick was talking shit on anyone who passed by and then her boyfriend joined in! That was annoying,” she said.

Another thing to remember is if you and your significant other are going to have an argument, do us a favor and get out of the crowd. No one wants to hear you say that your boyfriend is a lying dog, who can’t keep it in his pants when Tool is playing their new single.

Now for those single people out there looking for love in the crowd here’s a few hints. Boys out there, when you’re in a mosh pit and you see a pretty girl getting trampled on, help her up and get her back on her feet. She’ll remember you for it and if you’re lucky she may be looking for someone to enjoy the evening with as well.

Over all, music festivals are a great way to spend time with someone special – it’s a day of music, fun and overpriced water.

So find some time, score some tickets and remember my rules on how to behave when you’re in the crowd because the person you’re making out in front of could be me. And you might end up being next week’s example of bad concert behavior.

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