Shower sex : Romanticized in porn but disappointing in reality

In 2017 Sex Issue

You and your partner are in the shower and things are getting steamy. You lean for a kiss but get sprayed in the face by the water. As the foreplay picks up, you try grabbing whatever ledges are available and accidentally knock down the razor, resulting in a panic as you both avoid getting cut by it. It’s time for the main event and the condom goes on but you find it difficult to slide in because the water washed away all the lube and now it just hurts.

Shower sex sounds great, but at best it’s mildly satisfactory.

A few things can make the experience awkward, including height difference.

If there is a significant height difference between partners then they might experience some trouble adjusting for sex.

This will especially be the case if the shower lacks fancy features like a bench and is too tightly spaced for two people. Shower stall dimensions can be as small as 2 ½ by 2 ½ feet, according to the most recent International Residential Code.

A small shower will likely limit sexual partners to standing positions and make it hard to get it in. One person may try standing on their tiptoes, but only disappointment will ensue.

Another thing to consider: makeup.

If shower sex is a spontaneous decision, neither you nor your partner planned to wear waterproof makeup. Water will get on both people, even if you try to avoid it, and someone will end up rocking Kesha’s 2009 look, which won’t be too sexy.

On a more serious note, sex in the shower can be uncomfortable because, ironically, water can lead to more friction and make sex painful.

“The vagina is self-lubricating and if you’re introducing water, that could rinse away some of the natural lubrication,” said Kerri Boyd Crooks, the interim coordinator of TitanWell.

“There are water-based lubes that people may want to use. Like if they feel like when they have shower sex it does get a little drier, then you might want to use a lubricant,” Crooks said.

Before considering it, soap is not a substitute for lube. Not only are vaginas self-lubricating, but they are also self-cleaning and getting soap inside may just irritate it. Same goes for the anus.

If lubricant gets on the shower floor and makes it slippery, it introduces the risk of falling, Crooks said.

Imagine how embarrassing it would be to go to the emergency room for a sex-related injury.

Sex in the shower also might seem like a good alternative for cleaning up the mess semen can leave, but it’s not a great form of birth control.

“You still want to use protection if you’re going to be having sex in the shower. The shower does not prevent the spread of STIs, it does not prevent pregnancy,” Crooks said. “If they’re having anal sex, they still want to use a condom.”

Some people think shower sex is a good option if someone is on their period because they believe it temporarily stops the blood flow.

Crooks said that despite this misconception, it does not make the flow stop temporarily, and that having sex in the shower only provides the benefit of feeling cleaner.

Some may believe steamy shower water will kill sperm and prevent pregnancy.

“There are myths surrounding hot tubs and sex, that hot water will kill or immobilize sperm, but that’s just not true,” Crooks said in an email. “Sex in hot water is not an effective method of pregnancy or STI prevention; the same principle applies to sex in the shower or bathtub.”

In the end, shower sex is awkward, risky and surrounded by untrue myths. Wash all of them away, and it becomes clear sex on dry land is a far safer and superior option.

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