Stress and other factors may prevent women from having orgasms

In 2017 Sex Issue

Your heart is racing, your body is sweating, and your muscles are tensing up as an intense pressure is released, allowing you to feel an immensely pleasurable and euphoric sensation all throughout your body that leaves you satisfied and relieved. Basically, you feel really, really good.

You have just experienced an orgasm. This mind-blowing experience might leave you at a loss for words because it feels like you’ve just felt everything you can possibly feel all at once, and you basically did.

“We see an overall activation throughout the brain. All regions of the brain essentially get activated at orgasm,” said Barry Komisaruk, Ph.D., distinguished professor of psychology at Rutgers University.

Aside from orgasms feeling good, they are also good for you. Orgasms improve brain health and increase blood flow, oxygen and nutrients through the brain, Komisaruk said. We can activate parts of the brain in many ways such as reading and doing crossword puzzles, but an orgasm is the only thing that increases activity in every region of the brain, Komisaruk said.

As great as orgasms are, certain factors may be preventing women from having one, or at least a good one. Those factors can include having a poor mental state, misunderstanding their body and having a lack of communication with their partner, Komisaruk said.

Poor mental state

A woman’s mental state is a huge factor in whether or not she can experience an orgasm. Being worried, anxious or distracted can really interfere, Komisaruk said. If your mind is wandering about an essay you have to write or that fight you just had with your friend, you may not be able to relax and have a pleasurable sexual experience.

Misunderstanding their body

The female body is rather complex, and if women don’t understand its functions, they may not be able to properly have an orgasm.

There are three areas that can be stimulated in order to have an orgasm: the clitoris, the vagina and the cervix, Komisaruk said.

“Each of them can be effective in stimulating orgasms, and the orgasms feel different from clitoral stimulation, versus from a vaginal stimulation, versus from a cervical stimulation,” Komisaruk said.

Although each area can induce an orgasm, Komisaruk said “It is easier to elicit an orgasm from a clitoral stimulation.”

For women to know what they enjoy, they must first figure it out for themselves. Masturbation can be a useful way to understand one’s body. During masturbation, women can not only learn how their body works, but they can also figure out what they enjoy and which areas they want stimulated, Komisaruk said.

In order to have the best possible orgasm, Komisaruk said you should stimulate all three areas.

Lack of communication with their partner

Lastly, lack of communication can really affect one’s sexual experience. Komisaruk says women must communicate what feels good and what they want.

Some women might prefer to start with vaginal stimulation, while others might prefer to start with clitoral stimulation followed by vaginal stimulation. It’s all preference, and there is more than one way to have an orgasm.

As soon as women understand their bodies and know which areas they want stimulated first, they can communicate it with their partner and have a satisfying orgasm.

Although it may seem awkward at first to express what turns us on, having an open dialogue can enhance sexual experiences greatly. No one is a mind reader and although you may think your partner is enjoying what you are doing, they could be faking it.

Everyone is different and enjoys different things, so women need to communicate exactly what they want.

Once they eliminate all the factors preventing them from having a sensational orgasm, they are able to fully enjoy their sexual experience.

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