The Daily Titan ranks Girl Scout cookies

In 2019 Tech Guide, Opinion
a photo of Girl Scout cookies on a plate next to a orange cup that says Daily Titan
(Daily Titan / Emily Mifflin)

Though Girl Scouts may not be in college, their wondrous cookies still make it into the mouths of hungry college students.

That could be because college students are absolutely enthralled with Girl Scout cookies, reminiscing in fond childhood memories filled with these trinkets of sweet goodness that are more nostalgic than “Rugrats.” Or maybe it’s just that these students are hungry and don’t care as long as they get food.

Either way, since the season of Girl Scout cookies has now made it onto campus and nearby stores, it’s only right to test our taste buds with these nostalgic seasonal cookies — if not for these confident, kind-hearted entrepreneurial young girls, then for our own culinary spirit.

Feel free to argue with us, but here’s a true and honest ranking of Girl Scout cookies, ranging from favorite delights to regrettable treats.

Disclaimer: The following ranking has been determined by 8 editors and assistant editors from the Daily Titan staff who each tasted 3 cookies. A total of 8 cookies were tested: Peanut Butter Patties/Tagalongs, Caramel deLites/Samoas, Girl Scout S’mores, Shortbread/Trefoils, Thanks-A-Lot, Thin Mints, Lemonades and Peanut Butter Sandwich/Do-si-dos.

  1. Peanut Butter Patties/Tagalongs

One of the favorites among the taste testers, Peanut Butter Patties have just the right combination of the divine trio of sweetness: chocolate, peanut butter and cookie. It’s smooth and creamy, yet carries a crunch. It’s the all-star in the bunch, so definitely a delight.

  1. Caramel deLites/Samoas

Caramel deLites, also known as Samoas, are another favorite among the bunch, though not without criticisms. Taste testers agreed that the coconut-flavored chocolate caramel cookie was the most aesthetically pleasing of the Girl Scout cookies and that it skillfully combined multiple flavors.

It doesn’t quite compare to any other cookie in stores right now, at least to the knowledge of our staff, which makes it a noteworthy original.

  1. Peanut Butter Sandwich/Do-si-dos

Let’s just admit it. Aside from one person with a peanut allergy, peanut butter is a favorite among staff members, so taste testers weren’t mad about eating this sweet simple cookie.

That being said, these cookies are easily comparable to Nutter Butter cookies, except less successful in its taste. Depending on one’s love for anything peanut butter, it can be either a hit or miss.

  1. Shortbread/Trefoils

Shortbread cookies are simple vanilla cookies — that’s it. Crumbly and buttery, it’s not going to be a wild or crazy choice, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t good. For those who want something bold, stay away from this cookie or expect disappointment. For those who want something that is reliable and sweet (without chocolate), then this cookie is an excellent choice.

Be careful with the crumbles though — it’s one of the messier choices because it’s one of the few options that doesn’t have a chocolate topping.

  1. Thin Mints

Ultimately, this cookie was difficult to place, meeting extreme reactions from our staff.

For our original taste testers, the response was anything but positive. Most stated that this cookie should be avoided at all costs, unless you somehow enjoy eating toothpaste. Thin Mints, taste like minty gum and fail to have any legitimate flavor whatsoever. Taste testers from this group agreed that nothing about this cookie was redeemable and that it should be forever banished from the Girl Scout cookie kingdom.

Due to such a strong negative reaction from the rest of our staff members, we had this cookie tested again by second group of taste testers. This time with four editors and assistants tested the cookie and reacted more positively. They said the cookie was well-rounded and had a consistent taste.  

  1. Lemonades

Lemonades are a little underwhelming and dry. It certainly isn’t the best of the bunch, but if you like lemon meringue then the sour burst of flavor is just for you. For one of our taste testers it brought a sense comfort that reminded them of their grandma, and eating the cookie upside down helped enhance the flavor.

  1. Girl Scout S’mores

S’mores easily gets lost in the crowd, since it doesn’t have enough distinct taste to make it differ from the other chocolate options. The marshmallow isn’t really there, which ruins the endearing camp spirit that it’s meant to inspire. It’s not a memorable option, so don’t feel bad if it’s the one cookie you avoid.

  1. Thanks-A-Lot

Thanks, ugh, not. Probably one of the most disappointing of the Girl Scout cookie varieties, Thanks-a-Lot cookies lack flavor. Essentially, it’s a Shortbread cookie with chocolate, but it lacks substantial chocolate taste, making it more like a generic low-grade Hershey. To put it nicely, it’s not worth it, y’all.

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